Find Love by Loving Yourself

“You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

When we learn to love ourselves, the whole world responds with love. 

This is a statement that I truly believe in. Throughout our lives we are told it’s wrong to “love” ourselves. We are told that it is vain and egotistical. The truth is, the only thing "wrong" is not loving ourselves and therefore denying our own happiness, love and joy. 

Whether you believe it or not, harmful self-talk and lack of self-love is affecting every area of your life, including your health, relationships, work, and finances. 

When we believe we aren't worthy, or deserving of all the beautiful things in life, how can we expect to receive them? 

We create our reality and experiences through our own thoughts and feelings, so if we're constantly in a state of not loving ourselves, how can we possibly expect anyone else to love us? 

Up until the age of eighteen I experienced a string of painful relationships and heartbreak, constantly stuck repeating the same negative patterns over and over. It wasn't until I decided to learn to love myself and realised that I deserved happiness, and that I am good enough, that I broke through this self-created pattern and found a long-lasting, loving, and fulfilling romantic relationship. 

How often do you find yourself criticizing your every movement?

How do you feel when you look in the mirror in the morning?

What negative words are you telling yourself right now?

How many times do you put yourself down when comparing yourself to others?

How many times a day do you repeat the thought pattern ‘I’m not good enough’?  Whether it’s getting the attention of a boy you like, pursuing your dreams, passing an exam, or putting yourself forward for an amazing opportunity? How many times do you say ‘I can’t do that’, ‘He’ll never want me’, and ‘she’s much prettier than me’? 

Take a second to imagine how good it would feel to be your own cheerleader without having to rely on others to make you feel important, valuable and successful. To be the person who is supporting you and reminding you of all the great things you have accomplished and achieved. To be the person who is telling you how beautiful you are, and that you are enough.

“Often when we don’t feel supported by others, it’s because we’re not supporting ourselves.”

Inside all of us lies our inner four-year-old self; innocent, beautiful and desperately seeking love and approval.                                           

Would you put a child down by telling them that they’re stupid, ugly, fat, and not good enough?

Of course not!

So, why do you say these things to yourself?  

Here are some tips and tools that I use to practice self-love:

Know your boundaries

“Sometimes “no” is the most loving response” – Gabrielle Bernstein

We often feel obliged to say “yes” to everything that comes our way, in fear of missing out, or letting people down, but sometimes saying “no” can actually be the most loving response.

If you don’t want to do something, learn to say “no”.

Be kind to yourself.

Honor your feelings.

It’s all about balance

Balance is the key to finding happiness in our present.

If you spend 5 days of the week eating healthily and exercising, it’s okay to indulge a little and have that chocolate cake.

If you’ve spent all day working, it’s okay to take time for yourself, and relax in a bubble bath with a cup of tea.

Give yourself some space.

Learn to balance work and play in the most effective way for you.

I like to take the time each day to do something that really makes me feel good. This can be reading a book, lighting candles and taking a bath, watching my favourite TV show, calling a friend, taking a walk, meditating, practicing yoga, anything.

Be kind to yourself 

Forgive.

Stop beating yourself up for the things you’ve done, the mistakes you’ve made, and the things you’ve said. Just let it all go. These negative thought-patterns are not serving you. When we stay stuck in our past and relive memories, and stories we tell ourselves, it prevents us from moving forward right now.

Bring your mind back to the present moment, forgive yourself and move on.

“The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

People can only start to really love and respect you, when you learn to love and respect yourself. 

You deserve to love and you deserve to be loved. 

We all make mistakes. Sometimes we all do silly things that we shouldn’t, we hold grudges, we act out, we eat or drink too much, and we’re lazy.

But it’s okay. We’re human. And it’s beautiful.

Accept and embrace who you are with unconditional love, and learn to be your own best friend. 

I’d love to hear in the comments below some of the things you do that make you happy, your methods for creating balance, and the ways you support yourself.  

Feel free to share xxx