In this life we all experience attachment, whether that is to a person, a place, food, drink, a book etc. through looking outside of ourselves for happiness. In the end this attachment only results in unhappiness, disappointment, hurt, and jealousy. This idea of attachment reflects back to the idea of seeing "things" and others as separate to ourselves, this is simply a delusion. The truth is that we are all one.
Non-attachment doesn't mean you have to spend your life forever alone with no friends and you can never engage in romantic relationships with others. Instead, Buddha teaches that non-attachment comes from the wisdom of knowing that nothing is truly separate.
In this class there was an analogy that really resonated with me. The idea that when we go on holiday we make the most of our time there and enjoy every moment because we know that it will end, and we're okay with that. We know that we will be leaving in a couple of days, weeks, or months, so we simply live in the moment and enjoy it. So why isn't this the same for our lives? Why do we spend so much time stuck in the past or feeling anxious about the future when one day it will all ultimately come to an end? Surely we would all experience non-attachment and happy fulfilled lives if we just took a moment to realise this.
It is impossible to find happiness in "things" as they are just material items that essentially add no value to who we are.
We all have the potential to own many cars, houses, well-paid jobs, designer clothes, but what does all this "stuff" mean if we're not happy? Yes that Lamborghini or £60,000 a year job may make you happy for a limited time but this is nothing if we aren't truly happy within ourselves.
The idea that these "things" are just a mirage explains it perfectly. If we were in a desert and saw a mirage of a pool of water in the distance we would excitedly run over, expecting our thirst to be quenched and to feel revived. When in reality, the moment we get there we will be extremely disappointed, realising that it isn't what we thought it was going to be after all.
Is this not what happens with material things and often in our relationships? We get that fancy car and then it breaks down, or we buy that designer dress expecting to feel and look amazing and when we put it on we're disappointed, we put all our faith and happiness in a person for it to only shatter when they leave.
Seeing through this delusion of separation enables us to no longer give external things the power to make us miserable and compromise our happiness.
True ever-lasting happiness cannot be found in anything other than our own minds.
To pursue happiness, look within.
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